My Woolly Ways

“He makes me to lie down in green pastures…” [Psalm 23:2]

Distractions bombard my mind. Negative thoughts catapult over the walls of my soul and find their way into the chambers of my heart. Off in many directions go my thoughts–here and there, unrestrained, running away from home ~ the altar of worship.

It’s cold out here. I feel lost. I’m beginning to forget what it means to worship my God? I am leaning into unbelief ~ certainly into distrust ~ while my soul feels it is breaking into many pieces? My world begins to spin out of control, far from making sense. A world I designed for myself, while mapping my own way.

What levels this imbalance? What soothes and thus relieves my anxieties, my frets, my fears? Nothing does like worshiping the Lord, my God… while lying down in His meadow of lush, nurturing green pastures.

But I want to sit up! I want to stand up! I want to walk, even run, my own way!! “All we like sheep have gone astray, every one to his own way.” [Isaiah 53:6] Good Shepherd, who knows my woolly ways, “makes me to lie down in green pastures.” He knows I’m hungry. He knows I need rest. He knows I am prone to wander beyond the fence line. My soul wrestles its own Gethsemane within this fold. I kick from within. His will? My will? His will? My will?

How does He ‘make’ me to lie down when He’s given me free will? E.v.e.r so cleverly: fragmentation. I’ve run hard after my own ways and lunged headlong into the proverbial wall.

“Lie down?” I argue. How could ‘lying down’ solve my problems?

Then His light breaks forth, and I see it. It’s not in the position of my body that brings balance to my soul. It’s the posture of my heart ~ lying before Him, worshiping Him, in total dependence ~ winning that wrestling match within my soul. Some of the fragments come together. Wholeness begins as I lie my soul down in His green pastures…this place called home.

2 thoughts on “My Woolly Ways

  1. Love this one… This is the one that I know will be a song eventually. And as I was sitting here trying to put words to why, it was something about how you can really see the light breaking forth; you disclosed the honest dark place first and then unfolded the journey to where the light breaks forth. Then I looked back up and saw that even part of what you wrote toward the end was, “then His light breaks forth.” haha!! Bingo! So cool.

    This is also the one where I thought, “There it is. That is her voice.” Every time you touch that place, the honesty and transparency of the search for Him in the grey skies, that is where people are drawn into an encounter with Him; that is where they are handed a key that unlocks their heart when they didn’t know how to let Him in before. Certainly true for me!

    Like

  2. Thanks, Carly. I’m so encouraged by your take on this. Light is breaking forth. Still clouds form at times, but they pass by. They must. For His light is stronger than the darkest of clouds. Write your song; I want to hear it! 🙂

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s